I think we would all be surprised to know how frequently others think the same of us. If only we could see the whole picture…how our view could change!
Why is it that two individuals can experience the same thing yet have a completely different take on the situation? Perspective.
Perspective is shaped by endless factors, many of which occurred during our first three to five years of life. Factors as basic as where we were raised, birth order, and our socioeconomic class contribute greatly. Don’t forget to add in our parents and others who helped raise us. Was it a safe, loving environment or did you have to fight to have your basic needs met? What experiences did you go through in childhood….traumatic, sad, idealistic, or joyful? What were the dynamics between you and the individuals in your family? What kind of relationships did you witness, and later model your relationships after?
How was conflict and communication handled in your family of origin? What did you need to do to get your needs met? Maybe you had to be the pleaser, the family clown, or the responsible one. It was how you felt that you were loved, valued and belonged.
It is never too late to evaluate these things. Journaling about your early memories and childhood is one of the best ways. Identify the things mentioned above and decide if your perspective is “working for you, or not”. What changes would you like to see? Write these down. These are your intentions. Meditate and focus on them. Come up with a plan.
When you catch yourself falling back into the old ways of thinking, analyze where the unwanted emotions, thoughts and/or actions are coming from. Then talk yourself through. What can you do differently next time? How could you have looked at the situation differently?
Remember, be kind to yourself. Catch the negative self-talk immediately and turn it around to the positive. Re-wiring our brains to look at things from a different perspective is not a sprint, but a marathon. Practice, practice, practice.
You are a beautiful individual who deserves love, respect and joy. It is that perspective that I pray you will all find and embrace.